noel alanguilan

finally. 2008 has become a memory. it hasn’t been a great year for me but it had its moments. the major event of 2008 at least for me was my strokes. they were thankfully mild enough that i was able to recover quickly but they did their damage, however small it may be.  my leg movements a little off. i can walk normally enough or at least appear to but have a little difficulty jogging. going up the stairs is easy but going down is not. its rather difficult doing an indian squat with some muscles being too tight. driving was harder than usual right after my episodes but it gets easier each time i drive. apparently, the fine motor skills in my legs has to be built up again.

i sometimes think that i’m going through the first kilometer of my life once more but this time its just a tad tedious. c’est la vie. still, i am glad of a handful of things — i haven’t had a smoke for nearly nine months now and i don’t think i’ll get back to the filthy habit in this lifetime. another one that i’m really  thankful for is that i found out i can still balance my bike. i love riding my bike. the downside is that sometimes i fall when i stop the bike but that can be taken care of with more practice. lowering the seat by a centimeter may be able to help also.

i’d like to thank lito b., felix m., janix, the professor from u.p. and al  for helping me not to loose interest in cycling by lending me cycling magazines, talking to me about bikes and riding, keeping me in the loop, giving me a cycling video and sending over a pair of cycling gloves. thanks a ton guys. i’ll get back to cycling soon. i promise.

one of the good things that happened in the early part of 2008 is that i found a friend whom i lost decades ago. the internet and its search engines have been quite helpful. i also got to touch base with a lot of my high school and college friends through facebook.

a good majority of my computing time — whether it be for work and/or play — in 2008 have been spent on linux. i’m surrounded by computers running the operating system — from my firewall to my file server. i do believe that its a system that can replace windows in both home and business environments. contrary to popular knowledge, it is a system that is quite easy to learn — my 10-year old son uses ubuntu linux for his games, e-mail and, occasionally, on his assignments. and it doesn’t appear that innovation and development in linux is going to slow down anytime soon. still, business for me was a bit slow and i would have to look at other streams of income in the coming year.

our neighbor gave us a puppy and within seven months ‘odie’ grew to be my largest dog yet. he looks like a golden retriever but is actually not. cherry and robin seems pretty happy about him because he adds some securiy to the house, that is, if he doesn’t touch the plants.

all in all, 2008 was an ‘okay’ year but i am so looking forward to 2009.

its been a hundred nicotine-free days. i still consider myself lucky because i did not have the physical, mental and emotional withdrawal symptoms associated with quitting smoking. at least not the major ones — intestinal disorders, headaches, mental confusion, irritability, axiety and depression. it has been said that the first two weeks of quitting is the most critical because the withdrawal symptoms peak during that span of time. my strokes might have helped in washing away the symptoms or at least made me numb to them. i am gaining a little weight though. this is considered normal especially now that food actually tastes better. cycling would help in that department once i get enough confidence to get on my bike again but that’s another story.

for now i celebrate my first 100 smoke-free days. i’m looking forward for more.

it has been 30 days since my last cigarette. and 30 days since my last stroke. i must say that it hasn’t been an easy 30 days — there’s physical and occupational therapies, visiting doctors for check ups, doing those everyday chores of living all the while recovering from my stroke. the handful of close friends that i have have been more helpful than they know. my family have been extremely supportive. its that kind of help and support that is truly priceless and made recovery much easier and faster.

its funny, a couple of nights ago i had a dream. i just bought a pack of cigarettes. i opened it up and pulled a stick out and as i was about to light it up, i saw my girlfriend with that fearsome “you’re dead if you light that up” expression on her face, and then i woke up. but i honestly think i won’t be smoking again. they say the first month of quitting is the hardest. i went through the first month already so the next few should be easier. i think i have to find a good vice though and i’m leaning more into being a bike tool geek and learn to make bicycle wheels. that shoud be interesting enough.

so its been 30 days and my therapists are quite happy with my progress. my neurologist seems to be happy at my development during my first visit to her clinic. next week there will be more check ups and visits to the doctor but i am hopeful that the results are good.

getting there.

i went through my first session of occupational therapy (ot) yesterday which i found doubly harder than my physical therapy (pt) sessions. the therapists and doctor had a lot of “torture” gadgets that they use to exercise various parts of my left and right shoulders, arms and hands. fun people though. my shoulders and arms were a bit sore this morning but i don’t really mind too much. the little pain reminds me that i’m getting better with each step.

there was this other guy there going through his session of ot. he also went through a stroke but he can barely move his left arm although i can see that he’s trying his darn best with a smile after each exercise. good man. as far as i’ve heard, he doesn’t have a vice but there was a lot of pressure at work. i was asking myself If life is really that hard that one gets enough pressure from a deskjob to trigger a stroke.

i realize that in most cases i’m lucky. i’m lucky that the stroke was mild; that it didn’t affect my functionality in a major way; that i have a family that helps and support me; that i am still alive.

some people have been asking me how i was after the stroke — do i get dizzy and nauseous; am i paralyzed; can i move and some other questions. to answer, i’m generally fine. i do not get dizzy or nauseous and i can move about. and no, i am not paralyzed nor any side or any part of me. my balance seems to be a little off some times. my walking is a bit sluggish and a little unsteady but i can walk and Given the right music i could probably dance. going up and down the stairs is a bit of a chore though so i try not to do that often. i haven’t tried running yet but i did try driving a little earlier — just forwards and back in the garage — without bumping into anything.

i have not tried riding my bicycle yet. i think that that is pushing it a bit. i have been doing chores around the house though — dishes, cleaning up and some cooking today.

i have been ordered by my doctor not to lift anything heavy yet. although i know i can, i’m following the doctor on this one.

i can obviously use the keyboard and type and i have been online since i got discharged and got home.

strangely enough i somehow do not feel any widthdrawal symptoms from the lack of caffeine or nicotine which i think is good.

my first happened on the morning of april 10. there was this unusual ringing in my right ear and almost immediately after my knees turned into mush and room started to spin. i was able to sit down on a stool, lean on a wall and felt a cold sweat coming on. waves of dizziness accompanied by nausea poured in and i started to barf my guts out. at this point i was lying down on the floor already — trying to hold on to the floor with eyes closed and trying hard to convince myself that the room wasn’t actually spinning. i was on the floor for the rest of the afternoon. i was able to crawl to bed in the evening.

friday, april 11 was spent mostly in bed. sleeping. i wasn’t able to eat any meal but i was able to take in fluids. thankfully, the dizziness has mostly dissipated. the following two days were totally better and i started improving. i was moving about, doing some chores and some work. the appetite is up as well. and monday, the 14th of april, i was even able to drive a short distance. but tuesday, the 15th of april is the day i am seeing an ear doctor. i had a suspicion that what happened to

the second one came while i was waiting for my turn at the ear doctor’s clinic. i was seated when that familiar ringing in my right ear came. i suddenly broke into a cold sweat. i closed my eyes and braced myself for the dizziness and nausea.

everything seems a blur from that point. i remember being transferred to a wheelchair, moved to the doctor’s clinic, the doctor deciding on confinement, wheeled out to a taxi and then driven to the emergency wing of manila doctor’s hospital.

i got discharged april 21 — seven days in manila doctors hospital. i’ll put in more entries about my confinement another time when i get the extra time for it.

for those that do not know, cerebrovascular accident is the medical term for a stroke.