noel alanguilan

“why do you do this to yourself?”

she spoke in a voice of genuine concern and looked at me a bit worriedly. but she didn’t say anything else. i haven’t seen her for years.

i was in a middle of what was to be a long bike ride. i ran out of water along the way and i swung by her place to ask for some. i looked all sweaty and grimy and i was panting my lungs out. i looked pitiful.

my answer was a weak shrug of the shoulders in between gulps of water and gasps for air. after filling up my bottle and a short rest i offered my apologies, gave my thanks and went on my way.

that question was asked when kikay was still new which was about a decade or so ago. i never had the opportunity to answer it for me.

i do this to myself because i like to ride my bike. i like the way the wind rushes up to meet me and makes me work harder. sometimes i run with the wind and i go faster and i like that too. we play. i like the way riding makes me see the same old things in a new way and i like to see new places that the bike brings me to. i like the freedom riding offers me however short-lived it may be.

i like the way riding makes me comfortable with myself.

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